


Things not to be held

by twoheartsx



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Based on the prompt: The way you said I love you; not to me, Drinking, F/M, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Set after Garden of Light, They're at a wedding so it's just slight drinking but I'm still tagging it, This fic is just sad boys being sad about lost loves and things they couldn't have, Unrequited Love, spoilers for the end of the manga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 15:15:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16098281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoheartsx/pseuds/twoheartsx
Summary: Because it stung Yut-Lung to know he'd never have the one person he wanted.





	Things not to be held

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after the end of Garden of Light when Akira marries Sing. Just a little something I thought up and had to write. I hope you guys like it!

The words I love you slipped from Sing’s mouth. He said it so casually as he stared at his blushing bride. Amiss all the cheers of the crowded church, Yut-Lung felt his heart break. He’d told himself he no longer had one. It had been casted aside when he was still young. In favor of a beating, feeling heart was a block on ice filled with the burning need to never allow someone to hurt him again. He’d been foolish. He’d fallen for Sing, bright eyed and a voice of reason. He was a calm in Yut-Lung’s world of chaos. He was never his to have. 

The words I love you were so foreign to the youngest Lee. The last remaining of his family too. When he died the Lee family bloodline would die with him. This world would never be cursed with their lineage again. A bittersweet truth. One Yut-Lung hated, with every bit of his being, to admit made him a little sad. He hated his family and he hated where he’d come from. He didn’t hate the idea of having children and raising a proper family. He didn’t hate the fantasy of being loved. 

Things like love weren’t possible to Yut-Lung, or the Lee had convinced himself as he watched the first man he’d truly cared for, marry another. When Sing said those sweet words they were directed at someone else, not him. 

Lee’s didn’t love and Yut-Lung turned away when Sing leaned into his wife, pressing a kiss to her lips. In another life maybe that could have been him. 

~

Yut-Lung leaned on the railing of the balcony, a glass of champagne in his hand. He was slowly tipsy, but most importantly he was alone. Finally able to let his tears flow freely. He’d been holding them back all night long. It pained him to see the man he’d fallen for, without his choice; Yut-Lung never wanted to fall for Sing, dance and laugh and love another. 

“So, this is where you are?” A voice called from behind him. Yut-Lung quickly wiped his eyes and turned to see Eiji Okumura standing there. The years hadn’t been so kind to him. He looked tired, his hair longer. He now wore glasses. He looked the same and yet somehow so much different. Like he was worn out. 

“Got tired of the party too?” Yut-Lung replied, downing the rest of his campaign. Eiji nodded his head and walked over to stand next to him. 

“I don’t wanna ruin their moment, but it hurts a bit.” Eiji admitted. He looked down at his own glass of campaign. Yut-Lung arched a brow in confusion at the photographer. “Reminds me of all I could of had.” 

“We both know neither of us would ever get what we wanted.” Yut-Lung responded. Eiji frowned at this.

“For a moment I held the world in my hands.” Eiji downed his glass of campaign and set the glass on the balcony railing. “For a moment I had everything and in a moment I didn’t.” 

“You never stopped loving him did you?” Yut-Lung asked. He already knew the answer. Any biography of Eiji Okumura’s life. Any interview or even had been there that summer, you would know. Everyone who truly knew Eiji knew that love never went away. 

“I don’t think I ever will.” Eiji was honest. In this moment he wasn’t smiling and telling the world about how happy he was. He was raw and open, he was telling how broken his heart was. As Eiji stood there with tears streaming down his face Yut-Lung found himself angry. Because he was a Lee and Lee’s don’t love. Eiji was an innocent boy and life dealt him the worst hand. He wasn’t like Yut-Lung. 

“It seems both of us got the unfair ends of love though.” Eiji told Yut-Lung as he composed himself, put his mask back on, and walked away. 

“Both of us loved someone far beyond our reach.” Yut-Lung whispered to no one. To Eiji who likely couldn’t hear him. He didn’t care, because he needed to hear it from himself. He needed to say it.


End file.
